Danny Smell The Cartoonist from Hell!

I recently commissioned(Or tried to commission) a copywriter to do some copy for a web page I was putting together. I got excuse after excuse as to why things weren’t coming along very quickly. Which inspired the below cartoon…

Danny Smell - the cartoonist from hell. He is about to spin a big wheel that has a number of excuses on it like the Wheel of Fortune

Here’s some ‘excuses’ quotes to bear in mind…
Excuses are the nails used to build a house of failure. ~ Don Wilder and Bill Rechin
No one ever excused his way to success. ~ Dave Del Dotto

Luckily for you, you have the contact details of a cartoonist
who gets on with it and doesn’t make excuses! ;) Call Richard on 01246 209034 or email

Cartoon Commission Walk Through…

Here’s the initial email and brief from Amanda….

Dear Richard,

I am throwing a Bachelorette Party for my best friend, and we are having a German Bierfest Bachelorette Party. There is a German beer festival right across the street, and we’ll all be sporting German beer girl outfits! Amazingly enough though, I’ve scoured the internet looking for appropriate invitations and favors and haven’t found a single one that fits the occassion! I would love to be able to get custom Beer Steins as favors, but the only German-bierfest themed stein I could find was tailored to Bachelors only.

I thought it would be just perfect if I could get a little cartoon of a bunch of girls in dirndls holding beer steins. The central girl should be tall and thin with shoulder length dark curly hair pulled into pigtails and large boobs, wearing a pink dress with brown apron (that’s the bride). Next to her should be a shorter girl with only slightly smaller boobs, dirty blonde hair in 2 braids (that’s me), wearing light blue dress with white apron. The top of my head comes up to the bottom of her neck, right above her shoulder. The other girls can be in between heights and whatever hair and dress color you want and as many as you want, but my best friend and I are known for looking funny together with the extreme height difference. I’ve attached a picture for you so you kind of know what we look like.

bachelorette bierfest cartoon of four big busted barmaids holding steins of beer

I would also like one girl, not me or the bride, to be about to take a bite of a very long, very phallic bratwurst. I don’t care if you do it or I do it, but after I get it I would use Oktoberfest type lettering to write “Bachelorette Bierfest” across the top. Or, if you want to include the lettering with the cartoon, you could have it weaving through the girls somehow. The positioning doesn’t really matter, it just needs to be there. Maybe the date of the party too, August 23, 2008, or the name of the bride, Sara Varnum. I give you free artistic license based on the aforementioned guidelines.

I would like to print the cartoon on approximately 6-10 steins, and also use it for 12 invitations. I see you also make greeting cards so that would be great if you could do the invites too, but just one sheet, not a foldover type thing. I suppose I need to commission you for the cartoon, then I would like the rights to reproduce it for the steins. Also, if it’s not too much additional cost, I would like to be able to have the cartoon printed on 20 personalized stamps to use with the invitations through zazzle.com, but they are very strict with copyright rules so I would need explicit permission for it.

Bier Fest cartoon

After the completed project…

Richard is a joy to work with!  He worked with my budget, my ideas, and my requests with expert artistry and impeccable efficiency!  He works so fast and does exactly what you want and even exceeded my expectations.  Any changes I wanted were done immediately and perfectly, and there was no frustrating back and forth email exchange.  It was so easy, and I know my party will be extra special because of his work!

Thanks again!!!! Amanda


I love this quote and it goes so well with my cartoon… “So many people will tell you ”no”, and you need to find something you believe in so hard that you just smile and tell them ”watch me”. Learn to take rejection as motivation to prove people wrong. Be unstoppable. Refuse to give up, no matter what. It’s the best skill you can ever learn.” ― Charlotte Eriksson

cartoon of a guy running through a brick wall - he's unstoppable

The Seagull Manager – corporate cartoon…

I was down the pub on a night out with some mates when someone mentioned ‘The Seagull Manager’ – I thought it was funny enough to draw up a cartoon. So as I don’t know where the idea came from originally I’ll be crediting this and all future cartoon ideas ‘*From down the pub!’…

The Seagull Manager - cartoon of a businessman flying with wings flapping away

If you are looking to commission a cartoon or caricature you’ve come to the right place!

Commission a cartoon or Caricature…

Why keep a dog and bark yourself?  Consider getting your “bark” from The Cartoon Studio. I’ve been drawing cartoons for over three and a half decades(36 years!) – more if you include time spent in school and scribbling on desks and walls! Phew, am I ever glad I never got caught.
With all this experience behind my work, I could motivate a lion to go vegan! And don’t worry about my schedule; I’m lightning fast with writing wit, and creating illustrations that will inspire on the spot.

vasectomy clinic cartoon, boy scout holding hedge clippers, scared patient would rather have a qualified surgeon to do his vasectomy and not a boy scout.
You also don’t have to be concerned that maybe my style and taste might not mesh with yours. I can mould myself to anything you like, and present you with cartoons and illustrations that are appropriate for viewing by all ages.
Hey, when it comes to cartooning, I am the Chameleon of Cartoons!
It’s said that the pen is mightier than the sword. Well, with your ideas, and my mighty pen–together we can motivate your world to do anything you want!
So, you ready to get started? All you have to do is send me your plan, a short note will do, and I will mould it, shape it, and create just the right cartoon for you. And, don’t worry if my first effort doesn’t meet with your total approval; I’m always open to revisions. I’ll change the cartoons as many times as you want, until it’s perfect, until it’s exactly what you want.
So, question: How do you Commission Cartoons?
Our first contact is best done via an e mail. I need to get to know you a little bit, so your contact details are a good start. Then just tell me what your requirements and ideas for your piece are:
Do you need a part of a speech to be in cartoon form? In that case, send me the lines you have in mind, and a short description of what it should look like.

golfing caricature of three golfers dressed as burglars, club house in the background, they are in golf carts

Are you looking for a cartoon to mark an event, a caricature as a presentation gift, motivational image for your office wall, a greeting card or postcard? Write it down or send me a few scratches on paper, even stick figures are fine. Believe me, with my talent and experience, I can take those few random lines of yours and create a masterful cartoon image.
When do you need them?  Give me the date and I will do my best not to be late!
You can also contact me by phone, I’m in the UK….+44 1246 209034

Or email