Master Success – Are You Willing to Burn Your Bridges? by Cheryl Clausen
You’ve been told not to burn your bridges your whole life, but maybe that’s what’s keeping you from mastering success. Do you like to play it safe and keep your options open? When you play it safe you’re really giving yourself permission to fail. You’re giving yourself permission to quit if the going gets rough, and return to your current state.
What if you refused to give yourself permission to quit? What if you had to make it work one way or another because turning back wasn’t an option? What would happen to your commitment? How about your persistence? Would you be more focused on finding a way to make things work rather than contemplating if you should just give up and accept defeat?
What does it really take to master success? You have to clearly know what you want. You have to have a strong desire to get it. Plus you need to believe that you can achieve it. When you leave your options open you’re really expressing self-doubt. What you’re telling yourself is that you better have a back-up plan, so that if this doesn’t work out you have an escape. But your brain is really processing it as “when” your plan doesn’t work out, not “if” your plan doesn’t work out.
Do you think you could master success if you combined your passion with your undeterred belief? Some of the greatest lessons to be learned in life come from your children. When my youngest son was in the sixth grade he came home from school the afternoon before the last day at school, and told me what he was going to do the next day. Each year the last day of school the elementary students have a track meet. That afternoon my son told me that at the track meet the next day he was going to win every race. As he made that statement there was a look of determination and unwavering faith on his young face. Now as his mother I worried that he might be setting himself up for failure rather than success, and not wanting him to have hurt feelings I looked at him and asked, “every race”? He looked back at me with that same expression of determination and faith and said, “every race”. The next afternoon after school I cautiously waited worried that perhaps his plans were dashed. Instead he raced in the house with a fist full of little ribbons, a big smile on his face, and eyes gleaming to show me his victory ribbons. So I asked, “did you really win every race…no one else won even one”? His innocent reply was, “I told you I’d win every race Mom and I did”.
Do you have the faith in yourself to master success? Sometimes you’ll be motivated by fear and fear alone will drive you forward. Sometimes you’re motivated by setting targets and reaching those targets before confidently taking the next step. And sometimes you have to burn your bridges and obtain your faith from the lack of alternative options.
Want to develop your path for success? Success Model.
Or are you focused on what you don’t want?
Think about it and you might be surprised by what you find.
A lot of people focus on what they don’t want.
For example… do you say: “I don’t want to be mistreated, I don’t want to lose my job, I don’t want to be broke, I don’t want to be single, I don’t want to be overweight, I don’t want… “(fill in the blank).
When the emphasis is on what you don’t want… your subconscious mind picks up on the part after the don’t want and so creates exactly what you don’t want.
Why?
Because your concerned about what you don’t want and the energy or emphasis is on that part of the thought. If you say you don’t want to lose your job – you’re really concerned about losing your job… this is what you focus on, that you might lose your job. And this is what the subconscious mind picks up on.
10 ways to start taking control (time management, goal setting, record tracking)
At first glance, it would seem that positive thinking and Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) have nothing to do with one another. But many of us with ADD develop negative thinking patterns because we become frustrated by our challenges and frequent feelings of being overwhelmed. This negative outlook then makes it even harder for us to manage those challenges and move forward.
Practicing positive thinking allows people with ADD to focus on our strengths and accomplishments, which increases happiness and motivation. This, in turn, allows us to spend more time making progress, and less time feeling down and stuck. The following tips provide practical suggestions that you can use to help you shift into more positive thinking patterns:
1. Take Good Care of Yourself
It’s much easier to be positive when you are eating well, exercising, and getting enough rest.
2. Remind Yourself of the Things You Are Grateful For
Stresses and challenges don’t seem quite as bad when you are constantly reminding yourself of the things that are right in life. Taking just 60 seconds a day to stop and appreciate the good things will make a huge difference.
3. Look for the Proof Instead of Making Assumptions
A fear of not being liked or accepted sometimes leads us to assume that we know what others are thinking, but our fears are usually not reality. If you have a fear that a friend or family member’s bad mood is due to something you did, or that your co-workers are secretly gossiping about you when you turn your back, speak up and ask them. Don’t waste time worrying that you did something wrong unless you have proof that there is something to worry about.
4. Refrain from Using Absolutes
Have you ever told a partner “You’re ALWAYS late!” or complained to a friend “You NEVER call me!”? Thinking and speaking in absolutes like ‘always’ and ‘never’ makes the situation seem worse than it is, and programs your brain into believing that certain people are incapable of delivering.
5. Detach From Negative Thoughts
Your thoughts can’t hold any power over you if you don’t judge them. If you notice yourself having a negative thought, detach from it, witness it, and don’t follow it.
6. Squash the “ANTs”
In his book “Change Your Brain, Change Your Life,” Dr. Daniel Amen talks about “ANTs” – Automatic Negative Thoughts. These are the bad thoughts that are usually reactionary, like “Those people are laughing, they must be talking about me,” or “The boss wants to see me? It must be bad!” When you notice these thoughts, realize that they are nothing more than ANTs and squash them!
7. Practice Lovin’, Touchin’ & Squeezin’ (Your Friends and Family)
You don’t have to be an expert to know the benefits of a good hug. Positive physical contact with friends, loved ones, and even pets, is an instant pick-me-up. One research study on this subject had a waitress touch some of her customers on the arm as she handed them their checks. She received higher tips from these customers than from the ones she didn’t touch!
8. Increase Your Social Activity
By increasing social activity, you decrease loneliness. Surround yourself with healthy, happy people, and their positive energy will affect you in a positive way!
9. Volunteer for an Organization, or Help another Person
Everyone feels good after helping. You can volunteer your time, your money, or your resources. The more positive energy you put out into the world, the more you will receive in return.
10. Use Pattern Interrupts to Combat Rumination
If you find yourself ruminating, a great way to stop it is to interrupt the pattern and force yourself to do something completely different. Rumination is like hyper-focus on something negative. It’s never productive, because it’s not rational or solution-oriented, it’s just excessive worry. Try changing your physical environment – go for a walk or sit outside. You could also call a friend, pick up a book, or turn on some music.
When it comes to the corporate world, protocol is pretty much the religion. To know the things needed to do are the basics of productivity, but interaction and having a steady mind makes up the entire thing to true productivity. There are those who seem to work well even under pressure, but they’re uncommon ones and we are human and imperfect. To get these little things like stress under our skins won’t solve our problems. Sometimes it takes a bit of courage to admit that we’re turning to be workaholics than tell ourselves that we’re not doing our best.
Here are Lessons 16 thru 30 Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful
18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
19.. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special. (Haven’t I been saying this for years – Elle)
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple. (Can relate to this one – Elle)
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words – ‘In five years, will this matter?’
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
I was going through my old emails today and came across something I thought I would share with you. These 45 lessons of life are pearls of wisdom and should be taken to heart, used, passed on and shared because they are so true. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do (I keep things to inspire me too you know)
Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio
“To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.. My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:
1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step…..
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone…
4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.
When commissioning cartoons… Pick TWO of the three options!
Good+Fast = Expensive Choose this and I’ll postpone every other project on my drawing board, my round of golf or give up my footy match ticket and work day and night to get your job done. It WILL NOT BE CHEAP though!
Good+Cheap = Slow Choose good and cheap and I’ll still do a great job at a discounted price. But you’ll have to be patient while I fit you in after my higher paying clients, updating my web site, going down the gym, my footy matches, rounds of golf and liquid lunches!
Fast+Cheap = Inferior Choose this option at your peril. It will still be delivered on time but it will be inferior, as many corners as possible will be cut. You know the saying ‘You get what you pay for!’ The least favorable option in my opinion!
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